


No sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night

by Quinnoid



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A lil fluff, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Borderline Personality Disorder, Delusions, Everyone's fine, F/F, Fluff, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Mental Health Issues, Past jaspis, Peridot has a prosthetic, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, Tags May Change, Tattoos, Two Shot, but it doesnt actually get that far, no one dies, tags change for second chapter, third chapter is all fluff!, this is actually pretty happy all things considered, very very subtle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 10:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21659584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid
Summary: Inspired by Nightmare ~ HalseyLapis believes she is a nightmare. Peridot disagrees.ORKevin tries to hit on Lapis in a gay bar while Peridot bartends. It goes as well as you'd expect. Cue feels and some crying.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), background Pearl/Pink Diamond's Pearl
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	1. Nightmare Pt 1

Lapis made the mistake of thinking that being gay at a gay bar would keep her from getting hit on by drunk, sleazy guys. 

She sat on a barstool lazily knocking back shots and checking out the cute bartender that kept winking when she walked by. Her most recent drink was accompanied by the bartender’s name and number scrawled on a napkin with a short note. 

(863)-913-1301

Shoot me a text sometime cutie ♡

~Peridot

Lapis smirked, putting Peridot in her contacts, before sipping on a fruity cocktail the bartender, Peridot, had snuck her. _On the house,_ she’d mouthed, unable to talk much over the thrum of the music. It was good. Tastes of pineapple and coconut and orange. As Lapis was finishing the blue drink, feeling a pretty significant buzz at this point, someone sat next to her. 

“Hey baby,” A voice murmured next to her ear, the puff of air agitating Lapis. Its owner must have thought the tone was flirty and smooth, but they just came across as douchey. Lapis shot the offender a nasty glare. She knew she was intimidating, with her shock of electric blue hair and her short crop top showing off two full tattoo sleeves as well as the tattoo of delicate, watery wings, extending from the gemstone she was named after across her back. Unfortunately, the other person was undeterred. “Oh come on, don’t give me that look.”

“This is a gay bar dude,” Lapis gritted her teeth. “And I’m not interested so fuck off.”

“Aw, come on little lady, dance with me,” The intruder’s hand brushed down Lapis’ arm, setting off alarm bells in her head. She ignored them. “Fine. I’m Kevin. At least lemme buy you something.”

Kevin flagged down Peridot, who raised an eyebrow questioningly at Lapis’ sour face. She shook her head slightly at the bartender. Peridot frowned and set to making the drinks, one eye on Kevin the whole time. Kevin had continued talking, much to Lapis’ dismay. Not only was he annoyingly persistent, he was chatty too. 

“-you and I are the best thing that’ll ever happen to this place, you hear?” Lapis shot him another side eyed glare when his hand grew too bold.

“Excuse me?” Peridot dropped their drinks off, and began to walk off when she heard Lapis snap.

“We’re angels among garbage people, baby. C’mon we’re perfect for each other,” His saccharine voice was sickening to Lapis. “But you need to smile more little lady, you’re not too cute with that frown. You owe me at least a smile for getting you that drink.”

A familiar raging calm roared through her ears like a rushing river, blurring out the rest of the world. 

“I don’t owe you a _goddamn thing_ ,” Lapis hissed, shoving the barstool over as she stood. “And I sure as fucking shit don’t need to smile. Now, I told you to fucking fuck off, so I suggest you do that before I make you eat your fucking shit.” 

“Oh, woah! I’m just looking for a dance!” Kevin held his hands up, glaring back at Lapis. For the first time, she noticed how flashy he was dressed. _Stars he really does look like a fucking douchebag,_ Lapis groaned. “Don’t get all crazy on me.”

Peridot vaulted over the bar a moment too late when Lapis launched herself at Kevin, drink in hand. The glass smashed over his nose, drenching him in Long Island Iced Tea.

“Hey, whad da fuck!” Kevin yelped as he fell to the ground, blood gushed from his nose. “Crazy fugging bitch!”

“Hey, hey! What the fuck!” A bouncer rounded on Lapis. Peridot jumped in front of her, comically short compared to the behemoth that was hulking over them. 

“It’s alright Bis! Calm down, he deserved it.” Bismuth glared down at Peridot.

“You sure, Shorty?” Bismuth grunted, cracking her knuckles menacingly.

“Yes.” Peridot snapped. “Get Whiney out of here. I don’t want to see him in my bar _ever_ again.”

Bismuth shrugged and hoisted Kevin, still complaining and threatening to sue the ‘water witch’ for damages, onto her shoulder and stalked out of the bar. With the rush of the fight fading, Lapis saw most of the patrons turning back to their drinks, although a few gazes lingered on her. A pair of fingers snapped in front of her face.

“-llo? Anyone home?” Lapis attention snapped back to the bartender. 

“Ah shit, ‘m sorry ‘bout that,” Lapis slurred a little, squinting as she stared down at Peridot. _Holy hell she’s short. And cute. Ah fuck_. “I’ll pay for the, uh, the thing. The thing I broke. Yeah.” 

Peridot frowned. “Did you get hit on the head?”

“Nah, you’re just real cute.” Lapis froze. “Wait hold on, I’m really drunk, sorry! I’m fine!”

Peridot smirked, reaching her hand forward to hover over Lapis’ arm, then hesitating. “While I don’t appreciate you breaking one of my glasses, I’m glad you’re okay. He deserved that.”

“Uh, yeah.” Lapis muttered, blushing. Her gemstone tattoo itched. 

~~***~~

Lapis woke up in a strange bed with a pounding headache. As she became more aware of the throbbing in her skull, she groaned and started to roll over before freezing. An arm was slung over her hip, a hand resting limply on her stomach. Warm breath hit the back of her neck. Slowly, Lapis pulled away from the arm effectively trapping her and sat up, only to find the tiny bartender from the previous night blinking up at her.

“You good?” Peridot rasped. Lapis took stock of herself. Have to pee? Check. Clothes on? Check. Surprising. In a cute girl’s bed? Check. Want to scream? Check. Extreme hangover? Oh, shit.

“Bathroom.” Lapis whispered, suddenly not trusting the churning feeling in her stomach. Peridot bolted upright, pointing at a half open door. 

“Don’t you dare vomit in my bed!” She yelped, helping Lapis to her feet and into the bathroom. “I’ll get you something to drink. And aspirin.”

Lapis flopped onto the floor, sighing in relief against the cool tile. She actually didn’t feel too sick. The pounding in the back of her skull didn’t help her case any though. She could hear Peridot rummaging around, and then loud footsteps coming back into the bathroom. _For such a small person, she walks like a damn elephant,_ Lapis grumbled, as each footfall sent starbursts across her vision.

“Here.” Peridot held out a glass and two pills. Even her voice hurt Lapis’ ears. “Take this.”

Lapis obeyed, wincing as she swallowed thickly. 

“What happened last night?”

Peridot barked out a laugh. “Do you remember breaking a glass over some clod’s nose?”

Lapis nodded, vaguely remembering a ‘Kevin’ character. “After Bismuth threw him out, you called me cute. I asked if you wanted to come over, and here we are.”

“Oh. Did we..?”

“Have sex? No. I don’t take advantage of drunk girls. Besides, by the time I got you here, you were mostly asleep.”

“Wait. I slept?”

“Do you always have this many questions?” Peridot snipped, then rubbed her face with her hands. “Sorry, it’s just really early for me. Yes, you slept. Had a nightmare, but calmed down when I tried to wake you up.”

Lapis groaned and leaned against the wall. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine,” Peridot softened. “I’m glad I met you. You’re very amusing whilst drunk. I’d like to get to know you when you aren’t. That is, if you do as well?”

Lapis grumbled something that could potentially be construed as positive. “Talk later, Dot. Sleep now.”

“Would you like to go back to bed then?” Lapis nodded, and somehow, Peridot helped her up and out of the bathroom. They laid back down and Lapis was asleep before she even got under the blankets. Peridot sighed. It was only 11:15, and she’d worked until 3 the previous morning. Moments later, she was asleep as well.

~~***~~  
  


A few awkward dates and sloppy kisses later, Lapis was pressed into her apartment door, getting kissed by the passionate bartender. Her head hit the door when Peridot moved to her neck, leaving purple bruises down her jawline, her throat. Panting breaths turned to moans as her hands . Lapis, never one to give up all control, grabbed onto Peridot’s shirt, gently lifting it up. 

“Lapis,” Peridot murmured lowly, a warning laced with arousal. Innocent grey eyes stared down into bright blue ones, questioning. “Are you sure?”

Lapis smirked, pecking Peridot on the nose. “Yes, Dot.”

“You know I hate that nickname.” Peridot grumbled. “If so, uh, we need to talk first though.”

“Oh?” Lapis’ mind short circuited for a moment, flashing through disaster scenario after disaster scenario as she was led to the table. She leaned against it before asking, “About?”

“Well,” Peridot began, then trailed off, mulling over her words. “When I was seventeen, I was in a car accident. The impact crushed the passenger side of the vehicle, and the dashboard collapsed around my leg. So now I have a prosthetic. But I prefer to call it my limb enhancer.”

As she spoke, Peridot lifted the cuff of her jeans to show Lapis the limb enhancer. It was an interesting shape, almost cyberpunk, and very fitting of Peridot. Bemused, Lapis raised an eyebrow. “Is this supposed to make me run away screaming?”

Peridot blinked, then blushed and glared down at the floor. “No, it’s just. I mean, some girls have been freaked out by it. I’d rather the freak out happen before we’re naked.”

“Well, no freakouts from this girl,” Lapis cocked her head in thought. “Though now that I think about it, didn’t we share a bed? How come I didn’t notice then? Or on our dates?”

“Well I don’t sleep with it on genius.” Peridot’s head snapped up, a half amused, half annoyed look on her face. “And I wear long pants, so you wouldn’t’ve seen it unless you were looking for it.” 

Lapis hummed. She pushed up from the table and rested her hand on Peridot’s cheek. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

The blonde nodded, surging up to kiss Lapis again. Lapis giggled, pulling Peridot along to her bedroom. They stumbled through the door. Peridot paused for a moment to glance around at the extraordinarily blue room. Dark blue comforter, walls, accented with a soft white carpet and light brown furniture. And surprisingly tidy. It all but screamed ‘This is Lapis Lazuli’s room’. Shaking her head, Peridot turned her attention back to a nervous Lapis.

“It’s very you, Lazuli,” Peridot murmured, stepping in to kiss Lapis again. “And hey, thanks for not freaking out on me. I’ve really been wanting to do this.”

With a gentle shove, Peridot pushed her down onto the bed and straddled her waist. Lapis huffed, before she was pinned to the bed, hands held above her head. 

“Okay?” Peridot asked, cautious as ever. Lapis nodded and moaned as she was kissed hard. “Good. Leave them there.”

~~***~~

“Hey, Lazuli? Where’s your mirror?” Peridot yelled from the bathroom. Lapis, only half dressed from their night, slid into the bathroom, looking sour. One look at Peridot’s distinctly triangular hair sent her into peals of snorting laughter though. “Hey! It’s not that bad!”

“Dude, you’ve got the worst sex head I’ve ever seen, oh my gods!” Lapis hiccuped, then rolled her eyes. 

“This is not the point! Gah! Do you happen to have a mirror somewhere so I can tame.. This?” 

Lapis stopped laughing abruptly, face twisting back into a frown. “No. I don’t have any mirrors.”

“What? Why?” Peridot squawked, running a hand through her wild hair.

“It’s uh, kinda a long story.” Lapis leant against the countertop, arms crossed.

“Oh. D’you wanna talk about it?”

“I mean, you’re gonna find out sometime right? Might as well be now?” Lapis let out a nervous laugh, pointedly avoiding eye contact.

“No, no only if you want to Lapis. I don’t actually care about the mirror that much, I’ll just use my phone camera or something.”

“Nah, I should tell you. Maybe you’ll be the one running away screaming.” Lapis joked.

“I sincerely doubt that. But if we’re going to be baring our secrets, I’d at least like to do it in a chair. Preferably with coffee.”

Lapis smiled sadly. “Fair enough. You finish up here, I’ll get dressed and make us some.”

A few minutes later, Peridot was attempting to rearrange her messy hair into something more appealing at the kitchen table while Lapis made a pot of coffee. She was humming something Lapis didn’t recognize, but it was nice. Kinda gay sounding.

“Whatcha singing?”

“Ah, only the theme song of the best show in the world!” Peridot exclaimed. “Camp Pining Hearts!”

“What?”

“You haven’t watched it? Oh, we’re gonna have to fix that! I have all five seasons and the movie adaptation. And they’re planning on coming out with a epilogue season that has 10 confirmed episodes so far! Hopefully they do more, but it is an epilogue season.” Peridot ranted until the coffee finished brewing, trying her damnedest to convince Lapis that it was worth suffering through. She begrudgingly agreed on the grounds that Peridot would shut up about it.

  
  


“So. You wanted to tell me about the mirrors?” They both sat on the couch now, favoring the soft cushions over the wooden chairs.

“Hmm. Yeah.” Lapis looked down into her coffee mug. “Back when I was like, young, I was really messed up in the head. I mean, I still am, but back then I was really bad. Didn’t eat right, didn’t sleep right. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder and given a bunch of pills to take.”

She paused, waiting for the running and screaming she was certain would’ve happened by now. None came.

“I guess they kinda worked some, but not enough. Didn’t like taking them much either. One week, I’d skipped most of my meds and was absolutely fucked over by this delusion that someone was watching me through my mirror. It was driving me fucking insane, and I was just staring into the mirror and got this furious calm like I did with that douchebag at the bar. Next thing I know, my hands all sliced up and bleeding everywhere and the mirror is shattered around me.

“Then everything just became too much, too loud. I picked out a really sharp piece and tried to kill myself.” Lapis flipped over her left wrist, pointing out a scar well hidden by a tattoo of an origami butterfly. Peridot reached out, then hesitated and looked at Lapis questioningly. She nodded, and the hand brushed over the scar tenderly. “That one’s my promise to myself to never do it again. I scared the hell outta my mother. So after that incident, no mirrors.”

“I’m really sorry,” Peridot whispered, voice cracking slightly. “I shouldn’t have been such an ass about it.”

“You weren’t an ass Dot. You’re good.” Lapis smiled that sad smile again and sipped her coffee. “Do you want the rest of my tragic backstory now, or wait?”

“You can tell me now if you want.”

“A few years ago, I was dating this girl named Jasper. We started off good, nice. She was so sweet and doting. I loved her. But then, she started trying to control me. Up my ass all the time about taking my meds and whatnot. We fought a lot, and they got physical, and then.. even worse. I lost it one day and was thrown back in the looney bin for a bit. She’s in prison. For a while.

“Ever since then, lots of therapy, lots of meds. I’m better now, but I have bad days. Bad weeks. Sometimes a bad month or two. I don’t know. Now’s your chance to run away screaming.”

“Laz, I’m not running away. Not my thing. I like to brood and whine for days on end, preferably in the bathtub where I can just soak in hot water and listen to sad country.” Peridot sighed. “You say you’re better, then I trust you. Sure, we should talk about it more, but that can wait.”

Lapis leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m a nightmare. You sure you want to date me? I’m not easy. I’m bad. I run away when things are good and freak out over stupid things and I’m working on that, but I’m still no good.”

“Isn’t that the kind of talk you’re supposed to be working on?” Peridot frowned. She set her empty coffee mug on the floor, and turned to face Lapis fully. Lapis forced out a dry chuckle and a weak nod. “Then don’t talk to me like that. Don’t put yourself down to scare me off.”

Lapis started to protest but was cut off by a small hand grabbing her own. “Stop. You’ve been nothing but good to me so far. I don’t care that you have demons. We all do. It’s okay. You’ll never move on with life if you’re stuck in the past like this.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Lapis finished off her own coffee, but cradled the warm mug in her hands. “Have I unlocked your tragic backstory now?”

“Maybe. Depends on what you consider tragic. I already divulged my leg, and aside from having an underwhelming mother and absentee father, I don’t have much trauma to unpack.” Lapis leaned over so she was lying with her head in Peridot’s lap. Immediately, Peridot began combing through the tangled blue hair with her fingers. Lapis took good care of it, but sex tended to make a mess out of even the best kept hair.

“You’ll tell me if you ever do, right?” Lapis asked, voice small. Peridot realized she was begging for comfort, silently, and pulled her into a tight hug.

“We’re here for each other, alright? If I need to tell you something, I will. Promise. But you gotta promise me the same.” 

“Okay. I promise.” They sat there for a few minutes, before Peridot suggested watching the first episode of Camp Pining Hearts. Lapis ended up admitting that the premise was good, despite not really wanting to watch it.

~~***~~

_3 month timeskip_

Lapis was running again. She knew it was a mistake, knew it was going to bite her in the ass later, but hell that’s what she’d tattooed the damn wings onto her back for. She was a runner, she always would be. Nothing would ever work out for her. They’d fought over something so stupid and pointless, and it had felt like she was right back with Jasper. 

Lapis didn’t want to feel like she did with Jasper ever again. So instead of being a normal person and talking it out or taking a time out to cool down, she’d bolted out of the house, with no phone, no wallet, and no sanity. She wanted to tear her hair out, punch a wall, run ten miles, and scream all at once. There had been a split second when Peridot had become Jasper in her head, and the urge to lash out, to hit, to break and burn and destroy had been so powerful, she had to leave.

She had to. Lapis stopped running, panting for a breath she couldn’t seem to catch. She looked around, watching people part around her, giving her odd looks. This area of town was vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Then it clicked, hitting her like a punch to the gut. She was in her old neighborhood, where she’d lived during the worst time of her relationship with Jasper. A few moments passed, and she knew exactly where she was in relation to that shitty house, and it terrified her. Sure Jasper was in jail, but what about old friends? The paranoia she’d struggled against nagged her, until she finally snapped. 

She ran again, back the way she’d came, back to the house of the woman she hoped would still accept her. Her chest hurt, her feet hurt, but she had to run, she had to leave or else someone would find her, and then Jasper would find her, and then she’d be killed. The panic attack she was fighting off finally won, and Lapis sunk to the ground, sobbing. She was only a few blocks away from Peridot’s, only a few blocks away from her girlfriend, her phone, her medication. 

She took a long, shuddering breath, and stumbled the rest of the way to Peridot’s, tears clouding her vision. It had been at least an hour since she’d left, maybe more. Would Peridot even still be there? Anxiety overwhelmed her again, but she forced it away. Finally, she was at the door and before she even got the chance to knock, it was flung open and a tiny ball of blonde hair and sniffles tackled her, mumbling something incoherently through quiet sobs. 

It was okay. Not great, but she wasn’t dead. She wasn’t getting kicked out or broken up with. She wasn’t losing Peridot. _Yet_ , a snide voice reminded Lapis. _No_ , she snarled back. The ringing in her ears faded, as did her anxiety, and she slowly eased the both of them inside, Peridot still clinging to her. She thought she could make out muffled apologies.

“Meds,” Lapis whispered, her tongue thick and voice crackly from crying. “Need my meds.”

Peridot nodded, dragging them both into the bathroom. She fumbled with pill bottles and shaky hands, not really knowing which ones Lapis needed. She pointed out her anti-anxiety, and Peridot handed the bottle to her, dashing out of the bathroom for a glass of water. Lapis choked down a sob, her own hands shaking too much to actually open the bottle. When Peridot got back mere seconds later, she held her hand out, a silent request. Lapis handed it to her, curling up in a corner, measured breathing becoming harsh pants again.

“-eathe. Lapis, I need you to breathe with me.” Peridot’s voice faded in and out. “Dammit you clod, you’re going to pass out!”

Lapis felt her hand move, vaguely, felt it rise and fall in a steady rhythm, felt Peridot’s voice as she spoke. Her other hand fell from her hair, a few blue strands coming with it. _How did it even get there?_ Black and white spots faded from her vision as she got her breathing under control. 

“There you go,” Peridot murmured. “There. Keep breathing with me. Good.”

For a few minutes, they just sat there, Lapis unwilling to break the spell that kept another anxiety attack at bay. 

“Do you wanna try and take them now?” Lapis nodded. Peridot helped her take them, then sat down next to her, putting Lapis’ hand back on her chest. “Good. Keep breathing now. Let’s just stay a little bit okay?”

Lapis just nodded. The anti-anxiety made her feel like she was floating, but not in a good way. Everything felt slow and too relaxed. She hated it, hated when she had to take it. Everything had been so good, her psychiatrist had even weaned her off most of her medication. Everything had been fine, until it hadn’t.

“Hey, stay calm Lappy. You’re okay. We’re okay.” That was it. What Lapis had needed to hear. Everything was going to be okay. “Let’s go lay down okay? I can put on some CPH, and we can just rest for a while.”

Time felt strange, like it was moving fast and she was moving slow. Peridot helped her stand and walk into the bedroom. It looked like a tornado had passed through, and if she had the energy, she’d ask Peridot what happened, but her brain was too sluggish now. The TV was on, and Peridot was curled up next to her, arms wrapped around her in a protective hug. Lapis fell asleep to Paulette storming out on Percy.


	2. Nightmare Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing from the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, there's a CW warning bolded about two thirds of the way through for mildly graphic descriptions of self harm and suicide. Please be safe. And if talking about delusions or hallucinations is triggering, don't read this. It's not worth it.

“Peridot, can we talk?” It’d been a few hours, long enough for the ‘swimming through syrup’ feeling to fade a bit. They had moved from the bed to the couch so Peridot could still get some work done while they watched Camp Pining Hearts, Lapis curled up into her side, head on the blonde’s lap. She pulled a dark blue blanket around her tighter, fingers holding onto the fabric as tightly as she could while under the drug’s influence. It was too hard to focus on the show, so she had mainly been laying there thinking. At least when she took the anti-anxiety, it was virtually impossible to panic when her mind tried to go back over the fight. That was about the only thing she had going for her.

Peridot shifted her computer away and looked down, running a now free hand gently through Lapis’ hair. “Are you sure? You still sound pretty out of it.”

Lapis furrowed her brows, unfocused eyes squinting up at her girlfriend. It was still too hard to concentrate apparently, especially with the background noise. Peridot noticed immediately, muting the TV to try to help.

“Yeah, get some actual sleep okay? We can talk when you wake up. But no matter what, we’re okay.” Lapis nodded slowly, her exhaustion finally taking over. Peridot began to hum the CPH theme song, continuing to comb her fingers through faded blue hair. Her previous panic attacks had led to calming down whilst marathoning Camp Pining Hearts, so Peridot had taken to humming the title sequence whenever she was helping Lapis calm down. Slowly, Lapis’ breathing deepened as she fell asleep, loosening her hold on the blanket. Peridot ruffled her hair, unmuted the TV, and went back to work, content to wait until Lapis’ was more coherent.

When Lapis woke up again, it was dark. The title screen of Camp Pining Hearts was humming quietly, and Peridot had slumped over, very much so asleep. Her laptop sat open next to her, most likely dead. Blearily, Lapis sat up, grimacing at the crackling of her joints. As quietly as possible, she got up to grab some water. Her brain still felt sluggish, and she wanted to sleep for a month. She stumbled to the bathroom, wincing at the bright lights and then again at the mirror. 

“It’s not real,” She whispered to herself as she grabbed her toothbrush and turned away from the sink. “Not real.”

In the other room, Peridot shifted, and then bolted awake with a cry. “Lapis!”

Lapis registered the yell, but didn’t quite comprehend its implications, still mechanically brushing her teeth. She had barely turned around to open the door when Peridot crashed through, wrapping her in the tightest hug she’d ever felt.

“Dot, wha-”

“Don’t scare me like that!” Peridot sniffled, looking up at her.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, s’okay,” Lapis mumbled. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ lemme finish,” Lapis ruffled Peridot’s hair, and went back to brushing her teeth. Peridot hovered awkwardly, glancing between Lapis, the mirror, the floor, and back again. “I’m really sorry.”

“No, no! Don’t apologize, I should be, I shouldn’t have said anything. It was stupid!” Peridot wrung her hands together. 

“Can we have this conversation not in the bathroom?” Lapis murmured. Peridot flinched, then dragged her to sit at the table, bustling about to make a cup of tea for herself and a cup of coffee for Lapis. Lapis sat silently, mulling over her words. A cup was set in front of her by anxious hands, and Lapis reached for them. Gently, she guided Peridot to sit down, wrapping her in a hug. 

“Peridot, I need you to tell me those things. I need to know when I’m acting more paranoid or delusional. I don’t always notice, and I don’t always want to acknowledge it. If my brain is being stupid, I need to be on my meds.”

“I know, but-”

“No, don’t-”

“Let me say this! Please?” Peridot snapped, then winced. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I just, I’m trying to be supportive, but I’m not always very patient or kind. I know I should say things, but in general, they would upset you, so I don’t say them.”

“Dude,” Lapis sighed. “I understand you don’t want to upset me, but I need to learn to deal with it. I can’t run away from all my problems and emotions. And if it’s because you’re afraid, don’t be. I’ll hurt myself before I ever try to hurt you.”

“I’m not quite sure I like that.”

“You don’t need to. I swore I’d never hurt you. Swore I’d never let our relationship turn into mine and Jasper’s. This is my way of dealing with that.”

“Oh. Fair enough, I guess. And I’m not afraid of you. I never have been. Besides, Bismuth would beat the everloving shit out of you if you hurt me.” Peridot pulled away from the hug to look Lapis in the eyes. “I am afraid of losing you though.”

She brushed her fingers lightly down Lapis’ left arm, intentionally avoiding the butterfly tattoo.

“I know,” Lapis looked away. “I..”

“You don’t need to promise me anything. I said I’m onboard with this, with everything. I’m not scared of you, I’m not going to leave because it gets hard, and I’m not gonna lie to you anymore. I’ll tell you what I think. Alright?”

“...Alright.”

“C’mon, drink your coffee. It’s almost 5, we might as well get up now. I gotta go in and clean for that stupid party tonight. Hate renting the bar out like this, it always gets trashed.” Peridot pouted.

  
“Do you want some help? I’ve got my appointment at 9, but I don’t work until 4, so I can probably swing by for a bit and give you a hand? Maybe with lunch?” Lapis asked hopefully.

Peridot grinned. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

~~***~~

_ 2 months later _

“Stupid clod! I fucking hate her!” Peridot snapped, shoving away from the kitchen table. The chair clattered to the ground. 

“Woah, woah, dude what’s going on?” Lapis yelped, chasing after as Peridot stormed down the hallway and into their bedroom, Lapis having officially moved in a few weeks after their fight. 

“My damned mother is what’s going on!” Peridot snarled. She began tearing clothes off their hangers and shoving them in a duffel. 

“Hey! Stop.” Lapis grabbed her arm as Peridot stomped towards the dresser. She whirled around, fury blazing in her eyes, but softened when she saw Lapis’ concern. “Talk to me. What happened?”

“My esteemed mother has decided to bribe me into moving back to Chicago. I like Florida! I like sun and warm and no damned snow! But she thinks I’m wasting my brilliant, talented mind with menial work! Well I like it! And now I have to leave my warm, comfy Florida sunshine to go to cold, sickness reincarnated Chicago!”

“You have some very passionate feelings about Chicago.” Lapis deadpanned. “Why is she doing this?”

“Because she’s a clod! She’s Aurelia Almast, the CEO and whatever the hell else of Homeworld Enterprises, and she can do whatever she wants to whoever she wants because she is above the law! Gah!”

“Okay, dude, you gotta breathe for one. Please, your face is turning red.” Lapis would have snickered if she wasn’t as concerned as she was. “And two, I understand you’re upset but let’s take it from fifty to like five? Do you have to leave right now?”

“Well, no. It’s a private jet, I can kinda show up whenever I guess.” Lapis’ eyes went wide. 

“Uh. Okay. Do we have time to unpack all that?”

“I regret showing you Mulaney. And yes, we do. Just, give me an episode or two of CPH?” Lapis grinned, and grabbed her blanket off the bed. 

A few hours later, after eating and watching many more episodes of Camp Pining Hearts than they’d previously agreed on, Peridot seemed ready to talk instead of yell. Continuing with their little tradition, Lapis made them both coffee, and they sat on the couch. She patiently sipped it, accidentally scalding her tongue, while waiting for Peridot to speak.

“As I said earlier, my mother is the CEO of Homeworld. So she’s loaded. I guess by extension I am too? But it’s all locked in a trust fund until she dies or I take up a position in Homeworld.” Peridot sighed, taking a long sip and leaning against Lapis’ shoulder. “I guess she’s right, I don’t love bartending. It was just the easiest job to get when I first moved down here. And it’s fun. But I always wanted to be an engineer or an architect. I’ve got the degree, just never really found where I wanted to be.

“Anyway, I came down here to escape  _ her. _ Stars, she’s so annoying! Always on my case. I never wanted anything to do with Homeworld. They only do warehouse construction. I don’t want that, it’s boring! I want an actual job where I get to design things and go crazy with weird plans and support beams for no reason other than aesthetics! And she wanted me to be lead manager on some stuffy warehouse development contract overseas. But she really just wanted me so there would be an Almast nearby if things went south.”

“Did they go south?”

“Oh, very much so! It was highly entertaining! Homeworld was fined 4 million dollars for many human rights violations! Hmph, I guess not entertaining for the workers. Anyways, serves her right. I’ll never work for someone with absolutely no care for the people around them. I felt it first hand when she basically abandoned me to start up the damn company, and I refuse to feel it again.”

“Oh.” Lapis frowned. Her coffee mug was empty, and she had the distinct feeling she’d need a lot more of it. “So what is she doing now?”

“Well. She has another contract she wants me to head. And she’s gonna pay me pretty well if I accept. Like, I wouldn’t have to work for another ten years if I did. But it means going up to Chicago, and then somewhere in the Middle East. And I don’t want that. But, she demanded to see me anyways, so I have to go up there, whether I want the job or not. The plane was scheduled to take off.. An hour ago.”

“Wait what! Don’t you need to go?” 

“Uh, no. I refuse. If she wants to see me, she can come down here herself.”

“Will she?”

“Probably not.” 

Lapis sighed. She had a thousand concerns, a thousand worries, and at least a million more questions, but only one was really important.

“Is there anything you need me to do?”

~~***~~

_ A year later: Peridot’s POV _

“Hey Laz?” Peridot called out as she opened the door. “Did you wanna go out for dinner or order something in? You never answered my text.”

No response. Peridot frowned, anxiety sending little shivers up her spine. She dropped her bag on the kitchen counter, poking her head in the living room as she walked by. 

“She doesn’t work tonight right?” She muttered, shaking her head, before noticing Lapis’ phone near the wall, the screen shattered. “Oh. Oh fuck.”

Quietly, Peridot walked down the hall to their bedroom. The door was closed, and when she went to turn the handle, it held fast. Ice cold fear clenched her chest and back. 

“Lapis?” She called out, straining to hear anything from the other side. No answer again, no noise. “Lapis, can you answer me?”

For a moment, everything stayed silent. Faintly, Peridot heard a rustling noise. 

“C’mon Lazuli. Help me out here. What do you need?” She waited a moment, and was about to ask again when a shaky voice answered her.

“H-help,” Lapis whispered. “Pl-please.”

“Okay. What can I do to help?” Peridot tried to keep the tremble out of her own voice, but her own anxiety had skyrocketed. 

“I-i don’t know.” There was a heavy  _ thunk _ , and the door shook in its frame.

“Can you unlock the door for me, love?” It was a stretch, she knew that, but she could try. “What can I do? What do you need?”

“I can’t..” Lapis sobbed, and Peridot’s heart hurt for her girlfriend. 

“Laz, I’m gonna open the door okay? I’ll be back in just a minute.” 

“D-don’t go! Please, don’t go,” Peridot stopped, sighing inwardly. She was getting frustrated, she just needed to get the door open and then everything would be okay. She had to believe that. Otherwise, her anxiety would truly overwhelm her. “I-i’m scared, Peridot, please stay.”

“Alright, I’m here.” Peridot sat down against the door, leaning her head back against it.  _ Just like that Frozen scene, _ a sarcastic corner of her mind quipped. Peridot sat against the door for a while, listening to Lapis’ quiet cries and sniffles. While they’d discussed that this could happen, and what Peridot should and shouldn’t do, it felt like she was just continually screwing up. Finally, she just started humming their song on repeat. 

Some time later, after she’d gone through the song at least three times, but honestly it was getting hard to keep track, the lock clicked open. The urge to throw the door open was strong, but Peridot had to make sure it was really okay. When the door swung open, she slipped in, freezing at the disaster that had torn through the room. Lapis was curled back up against the wall, shaky but silent. The sheets and pillows had been pulled off the bed, creating what might’ve once been a nest, before it had been torn apart. The hallway light reflected off something on the bathroom floor, presumably the broken shards of the mirror. A few bloody handprints dotted the walls and floor as well.

Shaking her head, Peridot sat down next to Lapis, opening her arms for a hug but waiting for the okay to initiate contact. Lapis crumbled into her arms and buried her face in Peridot’s neck, crying again. 

“It’s okay, Laz, it’s okay,” Peridot shushed her, running a hand through her tangled hair. “Breathe. You gotta breathe.”

Lapis hiccupped, struggling to catch her breath. 

“I’m sorry,” Lapis choked out through her tears. “I’m sorry, I was f-fine, I thought I w-was fine.”

“Lapis Lazuli, hush. You are fine. We are fine. I am not going anywhere, you are not going anywhere. It’s all okay. Alright?”

“C-can’t promise that.” 

“Well, no, I can’t promise that everything will be okay, but right now, it is. Now c’mon breathe with me.” Peridot held Lapis’ hand to her chest. “There. Yeah, nice and slow.” 

Lapis calmed down enough to breathe, albeit shakily. Gesturing to the room, she whispered, “I’m sorry about the..”

Peridot sighed. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Lapis tensed up, and Peridot hugged her tighter, but felt her nod slightly. “I was on tumblr and y-you know those memes about someone watching you through your c-camera? I saw one and it just.. Triggered it I guess. I think my phone’s broken. And maybe the wall too, I dunno. But then there was the TV and the microwave, and everywhere I went there was something and I just couldn’t.. I couldn’t rationalize it, it hit so fast. And they were so loud, and cruel, and I broke the mirror, I broke my promise. I’m sorry!”

She was shaking again, breath coming in harsh gasps. “Alright, alright, breathe Laz. Stop that. You gotta breathe. Do you want your meds?”

“Uh, I-I’m, I d-don’t,” Peridot got the jist. No meds. Whether it was she didn’t have any or she didn’t want them, she’d deal with that later. She brushed a hand through her own hair, breathing out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Lapis started again.

“Lappy, I’m gonna start breaking out the annoying nicknames if you keep apologizing. Remember our deal?” Peridot knew she did, but she wanted to hear it.

“Once is enough. As long as I mean it. After that, it’s just hurting. So if I apologize too much, you annoy me with bad nicknames.” 

“Yep. You’ve apologized. I forgive you. I know you wanna keep apologizing, but it’s not gonna help either of us.” Lapis nodded. “D’you wanna tell me what promise you broke?”

****CW, Semi-explicit descriptions of self harm and suicide****

Lapis flinched. Peridot had a pretty good idea which one it was. After all, Lapis had only made a few. The first was to never hurt herself the way she once had, the second to never try to physically hurt Peridot, the third to always stick by each other when one of them was upset, and the fourth to not run away anymore. There was only one it could’ve been really. She took those promises seriously, way too seriously in Peridot’s opinion, and only made them when she knew she would keep them. For her to break it? That was surprising. And concerning.

Besides, the handprints were glaringly obvious. Even if she had just punched the mirror, she wouldn’t have left streaky fingerprints on the walls. 

Lapis pulled her sleeve up to show the bloody mess on her arm. Peridot winced, imagining how much they must’ve hurt, and how much they had to have bled. 

“Do you want some help?” Lapis nodded again and they made their way awkwardly to the bathroom, avoiding the broken glass. “Do you know when that happened?”

She shook her head. “No phone. No time. A while ago.”

Lapis hissed when Peridot pressed a damp towel to her wrist. One was deep, probably too deep. She needed stitches, but how to even approach that? “Do you want to die, Lapis?”

“What? No!” Lapis looked away, haunting eyes reflecting off the mirror shards. “N-no, not anymore. Maybe when I was messed up, but no. I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t.. I don’t..”

“I think you need stitches.” Peridot turned away to grab gauze, then swiveled around, wincing. “Sorry, I don't mean to be so blunt! Uh, but I do. Think you need stitches, I mean. That one’s deep Laz. And that mirror probably wasn’t very clean. I’d feel better if you got the tetanus shot too.”

Lapis groaned, leaning forward to press her head into Peridot’s shoulder. “They’ll baker act me. Garnet’s gonna kill me.”

“They’ll what?” Peridot paused her methodical wrapping, confused.

“Hospitalize. ‘Cause I did this,” She gestured at her bandaged arm. “I don’t wanna go back.”

“Okay. Uh, what if we ask Steven’s girlfriend’s mom first? I think she’s a doctor. Or Garnet, I think she’d know too.” Peridot 

“Garnet could baker act me too.” Lapis shook her head, then winced. “If you have to ask, ask Connie’s mom I guess.”

“Are you sure?”

“No. But you need to to feel better right? And I don’t want you super worried.” Lapis mumbled. Peridot weighed her options. If she did this, she could alienate Lapis, but if she didn’t she wouldn’t sleep tonight. Or ever. She made her decision, hoping it was the right one.

“Okay. I’m going to call her, see what she thinks. I won’t tell her it’s you, but I’ll have to give her some idea of what happened. Okay?”

Lapis nodded, and they carefully made their way out of the bathroom again. “Gonna clean up. ‘M sorry, for all this. That you have to deal with me.”

“Lazzie, what’d I tell you?” Peridot grinned at Lapis’ horrified face. 

“Ugh! That one’s worse than Lappy Bear! It makes me sound like that stupid dog!” Peridot cackled.

“Lassie! Hah! You know, I really doubted Garnet when she suggested this, but I’m beginning to enjoy coming up with these.”

Lapis pouted, but smiled as she followed Peridot into the kitchen, grabbing the broom and mop. She avoided looking at the microwave and TV. Peridot motioned for her to sit, already dialing the number. Lapis shook her head, mouthing ‘cleaning’, before walking back down the hall. Peridot followed her. 

“Hey, Dr. Maheswaran? It’s Peridot. Yeah how are you?” Peridot put the phone on speaker, and grabbed the broom from Lapis, pointing at the blankets instead. She didn’t really want Lapis to have to confront all of that all over again. “Yeah, so I have a friend who got a pretty deep cut on their wrist, and we aren’t sure if it needs stitches or not.”

“Oh? How did it happen?”

Peridot looked over at Lapis, who nodded once. “A broken piece of mirror.”

“Hmm. Was this a self inflicted injury?”

Peridot waited for Lapis to nod. “Yes, it was.”

“I see. Forgive me for asking a sensitive question so bluntly, but was this person trying to kill themself?”

Both of them grimaced. Her tactfulness was poor, at best. Before Peridot could reply, Lapis spoke up. “No ma’am, I wasn’t. I had a, uhm, psychotic break. I’m not suicidal.”

Dr. Maheswaran choked slightly, covering it up with a prim cough. “Lapis?”

“Uh. Yes ma’am.”

“Would you mind answering some questions for me? I’m not a psychiatrist, but if I have some more information, I’ll be able to give you the best advice.”

And so the question and answer session began. Lapis finished putting the bed back together, minus one bloody blanket, and was sitting cross-legged by the bathroom door while Peridot mopped and tried to scrub a tenacious handprint off the wall. Peridot could feel how uncomfortable she was, but Lapis had ignored most of her attempts to cheer her up. The conversation had gotten technical quickly, and while Lapis easily followed along, Peridot realized she needed to do some more research. From what she gathered, Lapis probably did need stitches, and she had been right about the tetanus shot, but if she was truly uncomfortable, she could keep it clean and see how it wanted to heal. Dr. Maheswaran also suggested seeing a new therapist if Lapis didn’t trust Garnet enough to talk about this.

****CW Ended. Short Summary: Lapis explains what she did. Peridot is concerned. When Lapis apologizes too much, Peridot calls her** **_Lazzie_ ** **, much to Lapis’ dismay. They talk to Dr. Maheswaran to see if Lapis should go get stitches, and decide it can be a wait and see sort of thing.****

The call ended around an hour later with Dr. Maheswaran casually remarking that if Lapis had succeeded, Connie and Steven would be incredibly distraught, not to mention Peridot. Lapis apologized, but the doctor had already hung up.

“Lapcy. You’re apologizing again.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ! NO!” Lapis threw a poorly aimed pillow towards her. 

“Yes! It is a perfect fusion of Lapis and Percy, while Pierridot is Pierre and Peridot! It’s perfect! Nyeheheh!”

“I am never calling you that.”

“Eh. Fair enough.” Peridot flopped down across Lapis’ lap on the bed. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

“Yeah. I want Chinese.” Lapis bit her lip. “And thank you Peridot. For everything. For putting up with it. Someone like me can be a real nightmare.”

“Nuh uh. First, that sounds suspiciously close to an apology, Laz. And second, I don’t put up with you. I fell utterly, hopelessly in love with all of you and I’m very, very glad to know you. And hey, I’m a bit of a nightmare too, but you don’t mind, do you?”

Lapis frowned in mock thought, trying to fight off a grin. 

“Lazuli, how dare you!” Peridot pouted playfully until Lapis leant down and kissed her softly. “That’s better. I love you.”

“I love you too,  _ Pierridot _ .” Lapis smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof this one’s rough sorry. I'm aware that it is far from a perfectly written scene, but honestly, I didn’t even want this to be as in depth as it was. I was going for a much fluffier read, but I tend to write angsty, sad things so I’ll roll with it. 
> 
> In other news, finals are over! I also said I was gonna post the WIP chapter first but here we are. I’m considering two additional chapters: the full NSFW portion from part 1 and an epilogue tying everything together. If you’re interested in either/both, let me know.


	3. Nightmare Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops! All fluff! A little epilogue to tie everything together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lea= Pink Diamond's original Pearl. I gave her a new nickname in Foreverglow and decided I will never refer to her as Volleyball.

_ 1 year later _

“You sure you wanna do this Laz?”

“I should be asking you that, Dot.” Lapis stretched, then slung her arm over Peridot’s shoulder. They were walking down a sun dappled street, heading towards Lapis’ second favorite place. “Are  _ you  _ sure you want a tattoo?”

“Yes! I want to commemorate our marriage! And what better way to do it?”

“Mmmm.. I can think of a few, but no comments here.” They reached the door of the tattoo parlor. They paused as Lapis took a deep breath before Peridot pulled the door open.

“After you!” She grinned. Lapis pecked her on the cheek as she breezed in and greeted the reed thin woman standing at the front desk.

“Pearl! How are you?”

“Hey! I’m well, Lap. How are you?” Pearl replied with a warm smile, then gestured to Peridot. “And who’s this?”

“Oh, you know.” Lapis grabbed Peridot’s left hand, smirking. “My wife. Peridot, meet Pearl, best damned tattoo artist on the Eastern Seaboard.”

Pearl held out her hand, and Peridot shook it. “It’s nice to meet the girl who finally tied Lapis down! You must tell us everything! Lea, our two o’clock’s here!”

A tiny woman with bright pink hair wound into loose buns walked out of the back, squealed and ran up to hug Lapis. Peridot raised an eyebrow at the enormous bundle of energy embracing Lapis, who was laughing and hugging her back.

“It’s been too long Lappy!” Lea held out her hand to Peridot, still latched onto Lapis. “Oh, and it’s so nice to meet you. My name’s Lea, and I’m Pearl’s wife. I’ll be doing your tattoo!”

Peridot looked taken aback for a moment, then responded. “Nice to meet you too!”

Pearl tapped Lea lightly on the shoulder, and she stepped back and took a moment to collect herself. “Sorry, it’s just been so long since we’ve seen you Lappy!”

“Yeah, I kinda up and left a few years back. Moved a bit north, and never had a good reason to get a new tattoo.” Lapis looked down at the torn butterfly on her arm. “Need a couple touched up too. Maybe completely redone?”

“I see.” Pearl murmured, eyeing her wrist. “Well, Peridot, Lea will show you the designs we came up with. Choose whichever one you like. I need to make some adjustments to Lapis’ design with her.”

“Oh, okay.” Peridot frowned. Lapis grabbed her hand again.

“I’m not leaving you for long, Dot. Be back soon, I promise.” She pulled Peridot in for a kiss, hand pressed softly against her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Peridot whispered. “Now hurry up, I need your impulse control.”

Pearl led Lapis back into a well lit room she often used for designing tattoos. “It’s been a long time Lap. Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“I know. I’m sorry for ghosting.” Pearl motioned for her to sit and show her the tattoos. She raised one eyebrow at the butterfly tattoo, now a mess of scarred skin and patchy ink. “It’s complicated.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re back. I’m here if you need to talk okay? Give me a few minutes to adjust my sketches, and I’ll meet you with Lea? And then you’ll have to tell me all about her.” Pearl grinned and pushed Lapis through the curtain. “Lea and your wife are in the other room.”

Lapis walked down the dark hallway to the other small room, slipping inside. Lea was hunched over the desk, sketching with Peridot hovering over her shoulder. The amount of excitable energy in the room from the two was nearly overwhelming. Peridot waved Lapis over to the drawing table. She hugged Peridot from behind and looked over the pages strewn across the desk.

“Look! It’s perfect!” She exclaimed, pointing at a rough sketch of a lapis lazuli gemstone intertwined with a peridot gemstone. The lapis resembled her own tattoo, shaped into a teardrop with fading blues, while the peridot was triangular with soft points and yellow highlights. It truly was beautiful. “But so is this one! How am I gonna choose Laz? What if I just got all of them?”

“Yes they are,” Lapis whispered, kissing her on the cheek. “Which one do you feel the most?”

Peridot pointed at the first sketch, and Lapis grinned. “Then there's your answer. Maybe more once you know how the feel. You ready?”

~~***~~

A month after they’d gotten their tattoos, Lapis went back alone to get her left arm finished. The peridot was tattooed onto the nape of her neck with her old lapis, and her wings had been restyled as well, but Pearl couldn’t get the outline and color of the butterfly and surrounding tattoos done in one sitting. Peridot had been busy with something secret.

“So, did you want to talk about it?” Pearl asked softly while she organized her workspace, and studying the concept art of the green butterfly one last time. 

“I.. I don’t know. It was just a bad day.” Lapis replied, frowning. “I don’t want a constant reminder of the time I broke my most important promise.”

“I’m sorry Lap. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m better now. She makes it better.” 

Pearl smiled and nodded. “Ready?”

Lapis nodded, and winced slightly at the stinging needle. No matter how many tattoos she got, the first few pokes always hurt. “So, how’s Lea?”

“She’s good! Actually, she’s at home because.. Well, it’s better if I show you.” Pearl grabbed her phone and pulled up a photo of a small, curly haired boy sitting in between herself and Lea.”This is Steven. We adopted him a couple weeks ago!”

“He’s adorable! How old is he?”

“9. We’ve been babysitting for him for a while, ever since his mom died, and his father just doesn’t have the energy or the heart to keep up with him now.”

“That’s.. Uh, good?”

“Well, it isn’t great, but we love him, and stars knows he keeps us on our toes!”

“Really? Can I meet him one day?”

“Of course you can, Lap. In fact, we might need a babysitter every once in a while.”

~~***~~

Not too long after the butterfly healed, Peridot sat Lapis down at the table, two coffee mugs in hand. Nervously, she pushed one over to Lapis.

“Is everything okay? We usually break these out for the ‘Lapis is jumping back on the crazy train’ talks.” She frowned and wrapped her fingers around the mug, savoring the warmth. She hadn’t noticed anything off about herself, but then again, Peridot tended to notice first.

“What? No!” Peridot shook her head fervently, spilling her coffee. “Sorry! No, I.. ugh I’m sorry Lapis, I didn’t mean for you to think that. No, this is good news!”

“Oh? Then spill!” Lapis smirked. “Not your coffee though.”

Peridot flushed with embarrassment, shaking her head. “Rude. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that..”

She paused for dramatic effect, and Lapis leaned forward slightly in anticipation.

“Iopenedmyownarchitecturefirm!”

“Really? That’s awesome!” Lapis cried, spilling her own coffee as she jumped up to hug Peridot. 

“Yeah! With Homeworld Inc disbanded, and the trust fund finally getting unlocked, I decided to just go for it!” She took a breath, which Lapis had learned was the sign of a very long winded tangent or lecture. “I’m so sorry I kept it a secret, I just wanted to surprise you and it opens in a few weeks! Oh and I named it Little Homeworld Architecture, mostly because it would annoy my mother, and I hired Bismuth as my main contractor. Did you know she also worked in construction? She was only a bouncer on the weekends for extra money, but she’s got her own contracting company and a really good crew, and I saw some of the stuff she’s built and I’m so excited! Oh, and I want you to help! You’re really good at designing things, and I know you’ve been kinda struggling to find what you wanna do, so maybe you could work with me for a while and if you don’t like it, then it’s a good thing to put on your resume? But only if you want to!”

“Peridot, breathe!” Lapis laughed, then snorted, sending her wife into peals of laughter as well. “I’d love to work with you. Aw jeez, I’m so happy for you.” 

Peridot pulled her in for a deep kiss. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lapis whispered, breathless, before leaning back in.

~~***~~

_ Sometime later _

“Mrs. Lapis look!”

Lapis sighed and turned away from her sketchbook. “Steven, I’ve told you, no Mrs. It’s just Lapis.”   
  
“Sorry! Pearl makes me use manners,” The small boy pulled a face, then held up his own sketching paper. “But look!”

Lapis grinned, even though she had no clue what she was looking at. “It’s lovely! What is it?”

“I’m drawing a dream I had last night!” He said in his overly animated way. In many respects, he took after Lea, but Pearl had done her damnedest to tame the wild energy. “You see, there were these space gem dictators, which are like evil people in charge, and they were controlling all these other gems, even each other, so one space dictator decided to come to Earth to try to escape them..”

Steven told Lapis the story of his dream while she finished the last designs for Peridot. All in all, it took two hours, a snack break, and three apple juice boxes for both of them. 

“Wow.” Lapis whistled, leaning back in her chair. “That sounds intense!”

There was a knock on the door, and then it was pushed open. “Hey Laz?”

“Yes Mrs. Almast-Lazuli?” Lapis replied cheekily, standing and ruffling Steven’s hair before pulling her wife in for a hug and kiss. Peridot huffed and rolled her eyes good naturedly. Steven made kissy noises that they chose to ignore.

“Do you have my sketches?”

“Of course.” Lapis handed over her book, biting her lip. She lowered her voice after glancing over at the preoccupied boy. “Maybe after we drop Steven off we can..”   
  
Peridot cleared her throat, blushing. “Laz! Hush!”

“What? For all you know I was gonna say go bowling!” Lapis smirked, kissing her again. “C’mon Steven, we gotta get ready. Your moms are gonna want you back soon.”

“Awww, can’t I stay a little longer? Please?”

  
“Not tonight, buddy.” Lapis squatted down to gather up the enormous spread of crayons and papers strewn across her office floor. “Dot and I have plans tonight, but maybe next time okay?”

“Yay!” Steven cheered and helped pick up his mess.

~~***~~

Lapis ran her fingers through Peridot’s hair, teasing it into its adorable triangular shape. Peridot wrapped one arm around her middle, burying her face into Lapis’ neck. 

“I love you, Laz.” Peridot whispered, kissing her neck softly. She bit back a soft moan when Peridot bit down.

“I love you too.” They snuggled even deeper into the blankets, content to sleep the day away in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The butterfly Lapis chose is a green swallowtail, and I’ve got a new idea for a story (also centered on a butterfly tattoo bc I can) and I’m LIVING. Idk when it'll be up. Also, fuck Crewniverse killed me with feels over Why So Blue! Sad we didn’t have a Lapidot episode last night, but my heart. Ugh. And now we know Lapis really is overpowered af, and I love her sm.
> 
> NSFW chapter will be up the first week or so of January hopefully.

**Author's Note:**

> A lil Lapidot two (maybe more?) shot. Written while listening to Nightmare by Halsey. When I heard it I was like !!!! Lapis! Anyway, as my username suggests, I prefer to write to music, so if you have a song request/ship, shoot it my way, and I'll see what I can do.  
> Fun fact, Peri’s number is a spam caller that won’t leave me tf alone.  
> Fun fact #2, I dislike Jasper. A lot. So, when she shows up in WIP (Work In Progress, my other Lapidot fic), she’s gonna be bad. Even if she gets a redemption in SU:F, I probably won’t follow along (altho that trailer makes me think she won’t which would be a nice change of pace from SUs whole everyone gets forgiven, even if they commit war crimes, bs)
> 
> Also, no clue when the next half will be up bc I just got assigned an essay due tomorrow night and finals and shit and I wrote this instead of studying so fuck me. WIP will take priority over this one once finals are behind me.


End file.
